In Need of Counsel

Posted on Wed May 2nd, 2018 @ 12:57pm by Captain Ka'Tock & Captain Daniel Westphalen

1,583 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Cloud Surfing
Location: Counselor's Office
Timeline: Sometime during the survey

The captain rang the buzzer on Ka'Tock's office door, waiting for the Klingon to bid him entry. He fixed the hem of his uniform, frowning slightly - he had never really availed himself of counselors in the past, but this seemed an opportune time. More importantly, he owed it to himself and the crew to be at his best, even though he was not feeling at all that way.

Ka'Tock took pride in the fact he had what he believed to be a 'comfortable environment within his office. The human' influences had taken a toll; it was all he had for the most part, the limited Betazed heritage was for his lost Imzadi and his son. So the Office was more of a human style; his desk was small and off in the corner while he had a very comfortable couch for the patents to lounge upon with a coffee table in between the comfortable chair he used to have 'discussions' with those that came in.

While there were pictures of Klingon ships in combat and a few group shots of former times it was also with some shots of the Academy and other star ships he had served with. One of his two Bat'leths; the one he carried from a fallen friend in what was the first significant battle of his life with the remnants of the crew after the ship was shot down. He carried the weapon and the memory of his friend from youth through the war.

Aside from those and a few accolades from his service the room was simple as he always had Iced tea that he preferred with a pot of hot water and one of coffee brewed periodically. He wanted to make the Office open for his patients as well as someone who might just drop by for tea and some conversation. He often used this office for 'off the record' conversations with friends.

He had an appointment with the Captain and as such a plate of light danishes from the Galley an the ready tea/ coffee set was ready for use.

"Please come in and make yourself comfortable Captain." Ka'Tock offered after the Captain entered. "I have an open door policy and always a good cup of... "Joe' , that is what they called it on my last command and at the Academy." He chuckled.

Daniel poured himself some coffee and sat, leaning back in the chair and gripping the cup with both hands. "I appreciate your meeting with me," he said, realizing quickly that the formalities were something to fall back on. At the realization, he offered a smile. "But then, I suppose it's just another day in the office."

The captain of the Aurora let out a breath. "You ever wonder if perhaps the path you're on is the wrong one?"

"The thought has crossed my mind, I believe most have that thought at one time or another." Ka'Tock added. "But I have had two paths to walk." He nodded. "What other path would you think might have a better result given a choice?"

"I'm not sure I have one," the captain said honestly, shrugging a shoulder helplessly. "The truth is, I've tried to be a captain since I first joined Starfleet. Originally, I didn't even want that - I wanted to be a scientist, but on my terms. Not part of a hierarchy like the sciences division here within Starfleet."

He shook his head. "There isn't another path for me. At least, not one I see immediately."

"Then perhaps it is time you learn to walk the path you have?" Ka'Tock replied pleasantly. "If it is as you say and there is no path for you then two choices: one is to follow the path in front of you or you could follow the quote from Robert Frost in the early 20th century, Earth." Ka'Tock had been reading as a pastime during his time in Counselor training. "Two paths diverged in the woods and I took the path less traveled and was the better for it' is the quote I believe?" He shrugged. "But I have found that most trail blazers did not seek to blaze the trail but just did not like the path they trod upon. You can do with your Command what you wish, no one says a Captain of a science ship cannot work Science. You understand the tasks; that is why you are in command. Now you must only become the Science Based Captain. Picard was a diplomat, Kirk was tactical and you are of a Science Nature. use that to make your path and you might find it easier on your path?"

There was a long pause while Daniel considered the counselor's words. Finally, he spoke again. "Did I make a mistake encouraging the promotion of Amber to first officer? Are you aware of our... past together?"

"Not really; though I am rather new to the Grapevine and counselors are not ..." Ka'Tock had to find the words. "readily accepted as most. There is a type of Phobia about the dirty laundry and such being paraded before the 'Shrink. So I am not as up to date as I should be it sounds?" He sat back. "It would help to be enlightened though."

"Until we came back from the refits, Amber and I were... romantically involved," Daniel winced at his reflexive use of euphemisms. "I ended it after our return because I had encouraged the admiralty to promote her to Lieutenant Commander and offer her the first officer position aboard. But after discussion with her, I realized that I was really just posing my own career goals over her own, and that I was being somewhat selfish and essentially covering my guilt by giving her a leadership position, so I could justify stepping out of the relationship."

"Guilt is something every being has to face and is compensated by the individual." Ka'Tock pointed out. "The question to ask is were you fair to her in not being more aware and supportive of her goals?" Ka'Tock asked. "The way you stated it seems to hint at goals aside from those you gave her. May I ask what her goals were before you had her promoted?"

"Research. Build a family. Make a future for herself outside of Starfleet," as he listed them off, Daniel's face fell more and more. "I shoved her into my dream, thinking I was doing her a favor."

"Then you really know why you did it?" Ka'Tock saked slowly. "If you 'think' that show further insights now or you would have been more positive you have done the right thing. "So why did you really have her promoted?"

The captain let out a sigh. "The promotion was because she's held the ship together the last few years. The move to command... that was guilt."

"You have choices now; honest ones, that you can make to deal with the guilt. "Ka'Tock said calmly. "Guilt is a scale of sorts we put upon ourselves, it weighs you down only as much as you put upon the scale. Finding ways to make up for the mistake often lightened the load one might say?"

He nodded. "I think that for at least a short time, I'll leave the weight piled on. But I hope that if Amber's given an opportunity to explore, as the person leading this survey we're on, it will at least let her see why I thought this position would be good for her. I wish I could articulate to her that the difference between commanding a survey and leading a survey team is literally just the scope of the work. I fully expect her to spend most of it in the stellar sciences lab, and if we happen to find an interesting planet, she'll be leading the planetary survey as the ship's archeologist. I never removed her name from the science team's specialties. She is, to me, still a scientist. Just as I do consider myself a physicist still, even after commanding this ship for the last few years."

The captain shrugged. "I wonder if it's just a function of time. The farther we are from this, and the more we improve our working relationship, perhaps this weight will fade. Perhaps it won't. And if it won't, she and I will have another conversation about where she would like to go, and we'll make that happen. She's qualified to run the science division on a bigger ship. The fleet's her oyster, to paraphrase the idiom."

Ka'Tock fought the urge to shake his head; he could see where the root of the problem lay and the fact he saw this situation not changing all that much from one side. To change will take a vantage point; from the description so far the Captain had his mind made up what is the best way to proceed, all Ka'Tock can do is help that path along slowly.

"It is good you see the potential in her abilities." Ka'Tock complemented. "It will make it easier for you to aid her along her career path as she chooses. And in doing so it could help the weight upon you lessen." He nod. "Sounds like you know what will best help you with this over time?"Ka'Tock rose and offered a hand shake. "I am here if you should need someone to converse with Captain."

The Captain returned the Handshake and then departed.

OFF

Captain Daniel Westphalen
Commanding Officer.

Ka'Tock
Chief Counselor.

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